Beautiful Things Can Grow in the Dark
"I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." Psalm 139:14
I have been a bit on the weepy side lately. Maybe it's because I am coming up on the one year anniversary of my Dad's death, maybe it's because my ten year old is getting closer to the teenager years with each passing day, or maybe it's because of all the new bouncing babies that are popping up continuously on my Facebook timeline. Yes, I am that girl that watches "A Baby Story," doesn't know the family but cries uncontrollably. Babies that are joining us on our earthly journey always get me right in the tear duct.
I've also been doing a little verse mapping on Psalm 139:14, particularly the part where David writes, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." I've been meditating on the word "fearfully." I've never stopped to figure out exactly what that means, even though I tell my children regularly, "You're fearfully and wonderfully made. Created in the image of God."
The word fear definitely has a negative connotation, so I wanted to be able to explain to my boys what fearfully meant. As I dug deeper, I found in the Hebrew context that the word "fearfully" actually means "with heartfelt intent."
God created US with heartfelt intent. Heartfelt simply means He created us with sincerity and genuineness in His heart. His want and desire for us was pure and deep.
God created us with intent. He was intentional in how He formed us from the clay of the earth in the beginning of time. We weren't a mistake or an accident. With precision and accuracy, He made us the most unique of all of creation.
I've been pondering on how He knitted me together in my mother's womb all of those years ago. I was created, you were created, in utter darkness. No one could see us growing inside our mothers' wombs, except our mothers' showed visible signs of pregnancy. Of course, ultrasounds have made it possible to get a glimpse at the miracle of life nowadays, but even technology has its limitations.
I remained hidden inside of my mother until God called me out on my day, August 14. That was the day God intended me, like the babies I've seen on my newsfeed, to join others on an earthly journey that would ultimately lead me back to Him.
If God choose to bring us into the light from darkness during our physical birth, why couldn't he choose to hide us away in other areas of our lives? No, He doesn't want us living in darkness and doing weird stuff, but maybe our growth and emergence of dreams is not seen by others until He decides to break the boughs and deliver us into the center of His will for our lives.
In Genesis 1:1, God created the heaven and the earth. Darkness was upon the face of the deep and God spoke, "Let there be light."
He created the form, heaven and earth, before shining life upon it--just like he created you and me before we experienced our first glimpse of the light of the world.
It appears that God does a decent amount of creating behind the scenes. Wouldn't you say? He can choose to hide things away until His timing is perfect.
Recently, I was reading an article about growing potatoes. Exciting stuff, right? Sorry. Just bear with me. I was reading how darkness stunts the growth of the potato and will cause the sprouting phase to slow down; thus the reason our Grandmas always had "POTATO" bins. Just throwing that in for free.
However, even in the dark, the potato knows that it is supposed to grow. Obviously, we are not potatoes. But God can keep us in, what seems like, the dark to slow us down until He is ready for us to sprout.
Sometimes, as humans, we can feel in the dark, alone, overlook, rejected, stunted and stuck. It can be easy for us to hide ourselves away for fear of rejection due to the forceful screams of insecurity. But we can't stop growing. The enemy wants us to give up, but we can't. We just can't.
We must grow, sometimes silently, sometimes painfully, sometimes slowly, in the dark until God says, "Go on. It's your birthday. It's your time."
Dear Lord, thank you for knitting me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me with heartfelt intent and marvel. Thank you for creating me to do great things through you as long as I abide in you and your truth. Thank you for planning the days of my life before I was conceived. Thank you for having a plan for my life even during moments of darkness when I can't see clearly. You are all I need. Please shine your light on any dark places in my life. Help me to shine for you every day. In Jesus Holy Name. Amen.